Kelly Roper
·6 min read
It takes a good sense of humor and some funny quotes about turning 50 to mark a half-century birthday properly. Truly, the best way to age gracefully is to do it with a smile on your face, so find some funny quotes that resonate with you and celebrate your 50th birthday with a bang.
What's funny about turning 50 may depend on your personal perspective. Hopefully, some of these original quotes will bring a smile to your face.
Short Funny Sayings About Turning 50
Welcome to 50! You can usethese short, funny quotes about turning 50 on social media or share the wisdom and humor of your 50 years with someone else.
Turning 50 isn't so bad; it's admitting it that sucks.
50 and fab... oh, who am I kidding? 50 and still alive.
50: too many candles, not enough cake.
50, when even your pains get pains.
"At 50, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell
Aging like cheese at 50, but hopefully with less mold.
50 — the age when you start to sustain sleeping injuries.
I turned 50 and realized that old age is always 10-15 years older than me.
"Looking fifty is great — if you're sixty." - Joan Rivers
Welcome to being a vintage human. Wine helps. #CantBelieveIm50
Welcome to your 50s, the decade where your toes are always just out of reach.
You're 50! You're not old. You're a classic!
I've finally aged into all those noises I make when I stand up.
I was tired of climbing that hill anyway. Glad to be over it. #MadeItTo50
"Mostly, I get up in the morning and think, 'Hey, I'm still here.'" -Barbara Walters
Humorous Quotes on Turning 50
These quotes will tickle just about anyone's funny bone. Share them, and maybe a few clean senior jokes, with the birthday honoree or anyone you think might get a chuckle out of them.
Turning 50 reminds me of that Jack and Jill nursery rhyme, except now we're getting closer to the nursing home, and there's probably more tumbling down involved.
At age 50, you start using those number 10 candles on your birthday cake because they take up less space.
"Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out." - Phyllis Diller
Your 50th birthday is whenyou can finally look back on turning 40 and wonder what the fuss was all about.
I've reached the age of wisdom, so why can't I remember why I came into the kitchen?
When you're turning 50,and strangers ask how old you are, tell them you're 75 so they think you look wonderful for your age.
When you turn 50, all that walking around the grocery store to get the things you missed on your list the first time counts as exercise.
Age 50: When your joints start reminding you how old you are, but your brain doesn't want to believe it.
"I'm aiming by the time I'm fifty to stop being an adolescent." - Charles Caleb Colton
Relax, you're only 50. You've got 10 more years before it's time to hit the panic button!
So you're 50. Go needle people you know who are 60. Feel better now?
If you're really upset about turning 50, be thankful you're not counting it in dog years!
"The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." - T.S. Elliot
They say age is just a number, but 50 is a lot of numbers.
Related: 50 Things to Celebrate About Turning 50
Funny Quotes About Turning 50 for Women
Women face some unique challenges after turning 50. Make sure whoever you share these quotes with has a sense of humor about reaching this age milestone.
Around 50, a woman develops the dual talent of laughing and peeing at the same time, and usually not on purpose.
50 is the age I thought I'd be living by myself in the woods doing witchy stuff. I'm behind on my life goals.
Daily affirmation for 50-year-olds. "I'm wise. I'm wise. I'm wise."
Looking in the mirror at 50 is when you start to be grateful for failing eyesight.
Shopping at age 50 usually involves heading to Costco to buy wrinkle cream in bulk.
A lot of women finally have real poise by age 50, meaning a pack of Poise incontinence pads, not some bargain brand.
At 50, your child-bearing years have ended, but your child-bearing hips continue to spread like they never got the message.
Being a hottie at 50 means you still get post-menopausal hot flashes.
If you're worried about the way you look at 50, never look in the mirror with your glasses on. Problem solved!
After 50, you can entertain the grandkids by letting them play connect-the-dots with your emerging liver spots.
If kids make fun of your post-50 wrinkles, tell them you're turning into the Elephant Woman and then trumpet loudly to give them a good scare.
Fifty: the age where you seriously consider injecting things into your face.
Funny 50th Birthday Quotes for Men
Men also have a unique perspective when it comes to 50th birthdays. See if you chuckle at any of these quotes.
Congratulations on turning 50. You're almost a grown-up!
You're finally old enough to use the F-word, so shout it from the rooftop: I'm fifty!
Once you're 50, your LDL cholesterol numbers are probably higher than your golf handicap.
If you became a firefighter in your youth, you're fully qualified to put out the conflagration on your birthday cake when you turn 50.
You're 50. Time to make the switch from Just for Men to Clairol.
Age 50: when your hairline looks in the mirror and slowly backs away.
Once you turn 50, the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the term "raising the dead" is Viagra.
Turning 50 is terrific... if you're a bottle of Scotch. If you're a guy with an expanding waistline and receding hairline, not so much.
Congratulations on turning 50. If your goal was to reach your heart attack-prone years, you've made it!
50 may be the new 40, but it sure feels like the old 60.
A 50th birthday is a wonderful achievement and something to acknowledge. Whether you celebrate with friends or take it all in privately on a quiet day, find a way to make peace with yourself and this new decade. After all, if everything goes according to plan, one day, you'll have an even bigger birthday to laugh about and celebrate with some birthday quotes for turning 60!
