7 signs you’re in a relationship with someone who is deeply self-centered (2024)

Ever feel like you’re constantly taking second place? Like your partner’s needs always come first, no matter what? It could be that you’re dealing with someone who’s pretty self-centered.

There’s a big difference between self-care and making everything about oneself. When someone puts themselves at the center, it can leave you feeling like your voice isn’t heard, like you’re invisible or not valued.

In this article, I’ll walk you through 8 signs that might suggest you’re in a relationship with someone who’s deeply self-centered.

It’s not about pointing fingers but giving you insights to navigate your relationship more consciously.

So, let’s dive in and explore together, shall we?

1) It’s always about them

Are you finding that most of your conversations revolve around your partner?

Their day, their problems, their achievements? It’s like they’re the sun in your relationship solar system and everything else just revolves around them.

This is a common trait in self-centered individuals.

They have a tendency to steer every conversation back to themselves.

Now, we all like to share our experiences and that’s perfectly normal.

But when it seems like they’re the only one with experiences worth sharing, it can be a sign of self-centered behavior.

Take note if you find yourself constantly listening, nodding, and offering support without receiving the same in return.

A balanced relationship should involve equal sharing and mutual support.

If you’re feeling more like an audience than a participant, it might be time to reassess your relationship dynamics.

2) They’re surprisingly generous

Wait, what? Generosity is a good thing, right? Well, yes and no. While generosity is generally a positive trait, it can sometimes be a sign of self-centered behavior in disguise.

Here’s the thing. If your partner is always showering you with gifts, taking you on elaborate dates, or making grand gestures, it might not be as selfless as it seems.

Sometimes, deeply self-centered individuals use generosity as a way to control or manipulate.

If they’re constantly the one giving, it can create a power dynamic where you feel obligated to them.

Their acts of kindness might also come with strings attached – expecting something in return, or using their generosity as a bargaining chip in arguments.

So, while unexpected presents and grand gestures can be lovely, if they’re used to maintain control or create an imbalance in your relationship, it’s worth taking a closer look.

3) They struggle with empathy

If you’ve ever found yourself explaining basic emotions to your partner or pleading for understanding, you might be dealing with a self-centered individual.

An inability to empathize is a common sign of deep self-centeredness.

Empathy is all about understanding and sharing someone else’s feelings.

It’s about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. So when your partner consistently fails to do this, it can feel like you’re speaking different emotional languages.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve into this issue and provide practical strategies for dealing with partners lacking empathy.

But for now, just remember: a lack of empathy doesn’t just mean they’re not good at understanding your feelings.

It can also mean they’re too focused on their own feelings to even notice yours.

4) They rarely take responsibility

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Ah, the blame game. It’s a classic move in the self-centered playbook.

If something goes wrong, it’s never their fault.

Somehow, they always find a way to dodge responsibility and point the finger elsewhere.

I’ve seen this pattern repeat itself in many relationships.

It’s frustrating and exhausting, always being the one to shoulder the blame while your partner remains seemingly flawless.

As Eleanor Roosevelt wisely said, “In the long run, we shape our lives and we shape ourselves…The choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”

When you’re in a relationship with a self-centered individual, they may struggle to grasp this concept.

Their inability to take responsibility can leave you feeling unfairly burdened and create an unhealthy dynamic in your relationship.

Keep an eye out for this behavior – it’s a telling sign that something may be amiss.

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5) They’re not big on compromise

Relationships are all about give and take. It’s about finding that middle ground where both parties feel heard and satisfied.

But when you’re with a self-centered partner, you might notice that the scales are often tipped in their favor.

Compromise? What’s that? To them, it might be some alien concept.

You may find yourself always bending to their will, their preferences, their plans.

In my own experience, I’ve found this unwillingness to compromise can make for very one-sided relationships.

It’s as if there’s only one person steering the ship, and it’s always in the direction they want to go.

Healthy relationships thrive on compromise.

So if your partner isn’t willing to meet you halfway, it could be a clear sign they’re more focused on their own needs than the health of your relationship.

6) They lack genuine interest in your life

Is your partner always in the spotlight, while you feel like you’re stuck in the shadows? This could be a sign of a deeply self-centered individual.

You may notice that they show little interest in your day to day life.

Your dreams, your hobbies, your struggles – they all seem to take a back seat to their own.

As Maya Angelou once said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

In a relationship, feeling valued and seen is so important.

If your partner doesn’t show genuine interest in your world, it can leave you feeling unseen and unheard.

Remember, it’s not just about you adapting to their world.

They should also be interested in becoming a part of yours.

For more insights and advice on maintaining healthy relationships, do follow me on my Facebook page. I frequently share articles and tips that can help navigate the complex world of love and relationships.

7) They’re experts at guilt-tripping

Ever found yourself apologizing for things you shouldn’t have to?

Or doing things you don’t want to, just to avoid an argument? You might be a victim of guilt-tripping, a favored tactic of the self-centered.

Guilt-tripping is a form of emotional manipulation.

It’s about making you feel bad so they can get what they want. It’s not fair, and it’s not healthy.

In the rawest terms, it’s a power play.

It’s about controlling the narrative of your relationship and keeping you on the back foot. And it can be incredibly damaging to your self-esteem.

If you find yourself constantly apologizing or feeling guilty, take a step back and ask yourself why.

Is it because you’re genuinely in the wrong? Or is it because your partner is using guilt as a weapon? It’s a tough realization, but an important one.

Navigate with insight, not blame

Navigating relationships with self-centered individuals can be a complex and challenging journey, often filled with heartache.

However, it’s important to recognize these signs without placing blame or labeling your partner.

Understanding these dynamics can help you navigate your relationship more effectively.

Every person has the potential to grow and change, but it’s equally crucial to accept that you can’t force someone to change if they’re not ready or willing.

This realization can be difficult, but it’s essential for your own emotional well-being.

As we navigate these complexities, remember the words of Maya Angelou: “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”

For further insights, I recommend watching Justin Brown’s video where he explores the challenges of finding a compatible life partner.

Drawing from personal experiences, he shares valuable lessons on shared values, personal growth, and mutual support in relationships.

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This journey may be challenging, but remember: knowledge is power.

The more understanding you have of your situation, the better equipped you are to handle it.

And remember, you’re not alone in this journey.

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  • 7 easy ways to spot an emotionally unavailable person, according to psychology

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7 signs you’re in a relationship with someone who is deeply self-centered (2024)
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